The one fear preventing some women from having children

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This is the week our society gears up to celebrate mothers and motherhood, and so, brace yourself for the think pieces and explanations from those who are “child-free by choice” about their choice. 

As the birth rate declines, we’re hearing a lot from people who have decided not to have kids. Sometimes, it’s because they imagine life is easier or more fun without children (neither of which is true, I would say, as a mother of six). 

But there’s another troubling excuse that is cropping up, both online and in conversations I’ve had with friends. It comes from women who say they don’t want to have children because their own childhood was unstable or traumatic

These women are afraid they may pass on negative patterns and hurt their own children the way they have been hurt. They’re afraid that, because they didn’t experience love as a child, that they may not be able to love their own children adequately. 

Many say they have declined to have children because their own childhood was traumatic. (iStock)

As one woman wrote of her decision not to have kids, “My mother’s mothering was like a hurricane, knocking me every which way during the years we lived

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