The Leech Dismount

Trump’s been called a lot of things in recent years, but I’m going to call him something new.

First, a refresher. In 2015, the Republican Party was on life support, with a “Do Not Resuscitate” order pinned to its chest and a priest called to administer last rites. Voters kept telling the party they wanted less immigration, less tax-cutting and less warmongering, but the GOP kept giving us more immigration, more tax-cutting and more warmongering. (For a detailed account of this state of affairs, see my columns and books — they make great Christmas gifts — free shipping for Amazon Prime members!)

Only when all other treatments had failed did we turn to an ancient medical treatment: the leech.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Donald J. Trump. There was no greater leech in all the land!

No insult intended. Leeching is a time-honored medical tradition, dating back to the Stone Age, for every conceivable ailment — an overabundance of peccant humors, convulsions, flatulence, scarlet fever, pleurisy, inflamed eyes and diseases of the throat, to name a few. Even today, leeches are the best treatment, as I understand it, for certain anticoagulant purposes. But because they are worms and bloodsuckers, not all patients

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