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Happy Tuesday. It’s great to be back. Did you miss me? Huh? Yeah. Well, you know who I missed more.
VIDEO SKIT: If it happens up there, we report down here. You’re watching Gazoombagate: Canada 2023. Week 51. The Resurracktion.
Oh, yeah man. This is awesome. You thought this saga and the sagging was over? Sorry. Gazoombagate – it’s back. Our coverage of a teacher so busty that he needed three mirrors to see his own feet. When this large boobed creature lays down, people thought a camel died. Mushrooms started growing in their shade. Here’s a trip down mammary lane.
‘GUTFELD!’ FLASHBACK: She was once a he began identifying as female last year and started wearing massive prosthetic breasts to class. The school board still stands behind the teacher. No other choice. In the unlikely event of a water emergency landing, your shop teacher could be used as a flotation device. The shop teacher was recently pictured in all her immense boobery skydiving. This story is getting bigger and bouncier. I may go to my grave never knowing the real story behind those Titanic ****. But I’d rather die seeking the truth than live