Greg Gutfeld: The best ideas come from you

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So last Saturday I did a live show in Birmingham, Alabama. It was a great time, had by all, especially me. Whoever sent the three little people strippers to my trailer after the show was greatly appreciated. It’s amazing what they can get up to, when you stack ’em. Like a sleeve of Ritz crackers

But that’s the thing about doing these live shows. People give me things. And not just cold sores. They give stuffed unicorns, home-baked brownies, a sketch of me half-naked lying on a bearskin rug. That came from Pete Hegseth. I remember posing for that sketch. He, in the role of Jack, and me as Rose in “Titanic.”

My point is I get a lot of stuff handed to me, and it’s impossible to look at them all. Usually, I leave some behind. Except the ones I can smuggle onto the plane, then gently remove in the bathroom. 

But Saturday – a gentleman handed me an envelope stuffed with paper. It’s something I would normally have someone else open. Last thing I need is another marriage proposal from some stranger. 

Remember this guy? What happened to him. He came and went, like

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