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Alright, let’s do a monologue. Now, it might get a little weird, so stay with me. But tonight, I want to talk about dogs. As I’m sure many of you know, I recently got a dog of my own. Yeah, I got sick of stealing other people’s at the park.
Well, his name is Gus. And unlike the cast of “The View,” he doesn’t bite people when he’s hungry and is almost potty-trained. And unlike Joe Biden, he doesn’t mark his territory with urine and can make it up stairs by himself. True, Joe is just another mammal that needs to be walked.
But since I got Gus, I started to realize something interesting about dogs as they relate to politics. You see, I think dogs are the great unifier. That as much as certain leaders try to tear this country apart, sometimes dogs quietly help keep us together. Okay. Pelosi is very divisive, but that’s because she’s 90% pitbull. But we’ve been together for 30,000 years. You know, when people were barely clothed and smelled awful. But enough about Seth Rogen.
So dogs must really like