Greg Gutfeld: Bad people abuse good intentions

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Now you know why you like this show. Besides my irrepressible sex appeal and cogent analysis. It’s the honesty. Like a clogged men’s room toilet at the Times Square Burger King. We are brimming with it. 

For example, just now I said, happy Wednesday and true, it’s Wednesday. Fox and Friends would have said something like Thursday. Stupid liars. But that’s not just an isolated instance of honesty. It permeates this show like powdered sugar and Brian Stelter’s chest hair. Keep telling him to shave. 


For example, this was a slow news day. So slow I was like the only one in this building. Wait until Jesse sees what I did to his suits. I had no idea polyester was that flammable.

Now, I could have done a mono on inflation or Joe Biden, but really not again. It’s so boring. Thankfully, a producer offered this headline, quote, “Transgender ex neo-Nazi Robber to receive fast tracked gender confirmation surgeries.” Wow. I’m so glad he’s an ex neo-Nazi. 

But talk about a perfect storm of Gutfeldian content: trans, Nazi, gender surgery, prison. It sounds like a Hogan’s Heroes after party

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