GREG GUTFELD: Angry, hyper-liberal women in the Bay Area are scaring off what would be their best partners

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Happy Monday, everybody. All right, let’s get started. Barack Obama met with Joe Biden and allegedly told him Donald Trump would win if Biden didn’t make changes. Biden replied, thank you, son, just park the car over there. Because, you know, he doesn’t know where he is. Speaking of the president, he has now presided over a record-breaking 11 embassy evacuations, his second broken record after most kids sniffed in one hour. Disgusting. 

Two Canadian men who were switched at birth 70 years ago finally received a formal apology from the government. Justin Trudeau can relate after just finding out his dad is Fidel Castro. I don’t know. According to new research, dogs can understand the meaning of nouns. They’re also pretty good at understanding commands like sit. I don’t get it. A new report finds that inventories at pawnshops are exploding, which could be a sign that times remain tough for many Americans. The good news? I just bought Claudine Gay’s glasses. 

The new massive government spending bill signed Saturday bans flying pride flags at our embassies around the world. But then how will you find the best spots for brunch? Asks Hamas.

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