Dear Kay: Should I Go To My Planned Gay Orgy This Weekend?

Dear Kay: I’ve been planning my next orgy for weeks after the success of my Fourth of July extravaganza, but I’m a bit nervous about all this confusing monkeypox news. Should I still go? — signed, Don’t Say Gay.

Dear Don’t Say,

I can’t even fathom the stress you’re under right now with this decision weighing on your shoulders. While I can’t ultimately make this decision for you, I hope the information here will give you clarity.

I understand your confusion given the corporate news media’s reluctance to admit that monkeypox is a gay orgy issue. It took two months for corporate media to address the fact that gay men are most at-risk of contracting monkeypox. I found this reluctance to address the science pretty strange as it took them about five seconds to shame fired firefighters for not getting a barely-tested vaccine during the last pandemic.

The World Health Organization (WHO), one of the most trusted bodies of mass psychological control in the known universe, has recommended that men who have sex with other men reduce their number of sexual partners as ninety-eight percent of monkeypox cases have been identified in gay and bisexual males (not that we know what a man

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